Where are our Men?
by Muzaffar Munadi
Most of our masjid boards, organizations, and foundations are led by hard-working and dedicated Muslim brothers. There is no denying the immense amount of effort these individuals have put in, sacrificing their own free time and family time. We cannot let that go unnoticed— such work is rewarded by Allah SWT.
Yaqeen Institute’s first-ever conference was held in Seattle just a few months ago. Everything proceeded seamlessly with insightful discussions and engaging presentations. I still remember the overwhelmingly youth-led volunteer team directing attendees, ushering parents to babysitting, showing the elderly to their seats, and answering all sorts of questions about registration. It was heartwarming to see youth stepping up and taking responsibility for such a massive event in Seattle. As I walked over to the seating section, there was one glaringly obvious issue: there were too many women.
Okay, hold on. I don’t mean this in a negative way: there were too many women, and not enough men. The only men in attendance were ones who came with their families, either occupying a part of the middle seating section, or a smaller front section of chairs. The disparity was so high that volunteers were forced to seat women in what was supposed to be designated as the “mens-only” section. At face value, there’s actually nothing wrong with this. We should celebrate our sisters’ interest in learning about Islam and coming closer to what is most sacred. This inherent hunger for Islamic knowledge that both men and women have, needs to be satiated using the correct means. If women want to attend an event that will teach them about Islam, then by all means, please attend.
But what about the men? Specifically our young men? Perhaps they already knew everything there was to offer, but last I checked, we do not have legions of young ulema in Seattle. It’s pretty dry up here (it’s getting better). Additionally, why was Shaykh Fazal Hassan in attendance? One of our leading scholars in the PNW surely knew everything that was being said, no? What about Imam Joban? He came as well, from what I recall.
If our scholars are attending and our young men are not, there is a serious issue that needs addressing. From my conversations and observations, it can be broken down into two distinct reasons: competing priorities and cultural norms.
Our Men, Our Future
Muslims in the United States are by and large an immigrant population. In Seattle specifically, we have very few families who can claim to have been here for three or more generations. To be frank, we are in our infancy as an American Muslim community. As Muslims, we understand the importance of a proper family dynamic, one that follows the Prophetic example and Islamic guidelines as laid out in the Qur’an and sunnah. The man has a role to play, as does the mother. When followed properly, this dynamic makes way for an incredible upbringing of Muslim children.
So what’s going on with our young Muslim men? It’s easy to just paint this segment of our community with a broad stroke—
“They’re lazy.”
“They’re just young, it takes time.”
“As long as they’re on their deen, it’s fine.”
While I can partially agree with the first statement, there lies a deeper issue. As human beings, we operate on an internal list of priorities we keep embedded in our minds. Eating and drinking, for example, are so integral to our well-being that we will often put other things off in order to fulfill these needs. While these are requirements for our physical bodies, what of our spiritual selves? We must fuel and nourish ourselves through our daily fardh salah, recitation of Qur’an, dthikr, and dua. Sitting in halaqahs, being in the company of those who spend their days learning and teaching Islam, attending beneficial lectures— all these help fuel our souls.
When you neglect to feed your physical body, you die. Similarly, neglecting to feed your spiritual self results in spiritual death. Your iman plummets, sending you spiraling into sin and general indifference to your deen. This is true for everyone: we can see countless people in America seeking out spirituality, often aimlessly wandering around, unsure of who or what to follow, obviously lost without the proper and infallible creed we know as Islam.